suddenly it all comes back to me.

the hurt from the betrayal.

i know that...

like about a few weeks before it all happened, or even a few days. something is wrong.

you can't tell... you just know.

and this hunch guided you thru all the signs on what to do to uncover.

and no matter how ready you are to see the truth... you never will.

it felt like there's a hand inside your stomach pinch and pull things in every corner.

your brain suddenly stopped giving commands to the rest part of your body.

thinking hard, yet stay very silent.

questioning every seconds that passed.

every details that slipped.

ended up with one single word...

why?

When mistrust comes in, love goes out.
-Irish quotes-

This motorbike-riding on my way home is somehow take longer time than usual.

Things buzzing in my head about values in life. How you put values in many things.

How I accidentally did that in certain ways. How then you'd differentiate yourself from others

It's the added values than what you normally does.

Funny thing is when one day, anyone from your long gone forgotten stories might suddenly appear,

talking about something you probably didn't even remember about what you did to him/her.

One thing for sure, it's nice to have people remember all the nice things about us.

Home.

Shortcut is also has a value in it don't ya think? ;p

Values are not just words, values are what we live by.

They're about the causes that we champion and the people we fight for.

-Senator John Kerry-

pada dendam kusematkan pertanda

Pamulang, 8 Juli 2009

Kuputuskan untuk patah
Tanpa semata karena menyerah
Pada angin yang limbung
atau setia yang kau pasung

Kuputuskan untuk patah
pada dahan yang kelelahan
pada hujan yang datang kelamaan
dan rindu teramat pada harum tanah basah

 (Jakarta, October 2008)

pada sebuah mendung

tahukah kamu

pohon yang kita tanam waktu itu

kini kian meninggi

ku harap kedatanganmu

dengan sesal yang keluar satu-satu

dan kau semayamkan lenganmu di dadaku

berkata dalam hati...

"kamulah yang ingin saya lihat, saat saya bangun dari tidur!"

Mataku nanar

"semoga hujan segera berhenti"

Di suatu pagi buta, sebuah tangan basah melap mukaku. Sekali dua kali saya hanya balas mengerang dan kembali meringkuk di bawah hangat selimut. Kali ketiga saya bangun. Geram karena begitu sayang pada menit yang sebenarnya akan terbuang mubazir, toh masuk sekolah masih sejam setengah lagi. Tapi figur itu tidak pernah gagal membangunkan dengan cara-caranya. Kadang dia menggesek-gesekan jenggot 5 mili-nya ke muka anak lelakinya.

Biasanya saya bangun dan menghampirinya di ruang tamu. Dia duduk di pojok dengan rokok kretek di tangan. Koran baru tergeletak di depannya. Namun tak juga disentuhnya. Dia ingin menghabiskan beberapa menit pagi ini untuk bicara dengan saya atau ibu sebelum menyentuh koran. Biasanya jam delapan. Lalu dia mulai bicara tentang banyak hal, politik, masa kejayaannya, pekerjaannya, hingga hal remeh seperti tetangga. Itu rutinitas tiap pagi yang kita lakukan. Tidak pernahnya dia bertanya apa yang saya hendak lakukan nanti, atau saat besar nanti. Tak pernah dia tanya agama saya, cita-cita saya, kemampuan saya. Karena kebebasan yang dia berikanlah saya disini.

5 tahun sudah sejak dia meninggal. Ayah, ada banyak cerita yang saya ingin sampaikan. Kerinduan itu. Kerinduan akan ritual kita. Pada setiap detik yang berarti di tiap pagi. Kalau lah kita bersua lagi suatu saat. Saya akan bercerita banyak padamu. Tentang agama saya, tentang paham saya, tentang keluarga kita, tentang cita-cita dan pencapaian saya.

Miss

you

Dad!

...
..
.

“For many people, God is just Dad with a mask on.” (anonymous)

So you think you've done it right? all the no eating at night, hot slimming tea 15 minutes before went to bed, 30 minutes morning exercising, yet they still hanging happily below your chest. Fat tummy.. Maunya ga peduli tapi kalau pake baju hijau, kok ya kaya labu berjalan :( Nemu fakta2 baru soal makanan, mungkin bisa dipake...

Food facts

1. Pineapple is a natural painkiller The fruit contains anti-inflammatory enzymes that bring pain relief from conditions such as arthritis, according to a study at Reading University.

2. Pomegranate juice could prevent a heart attack This wonder juice is believed to improve blood flow to the heart and lower blood pressure.

3. Onions are natural antibiotics They might make your breath pong but onions contain allicin, a powerful antibiotic that also protects the circulatory system.

4. Mushrooms can ward off colds They contain more of an immune-boosting antioxidant called ergothioneine than any other food, say researchers at Pennsylvania State University.

6. Blueberries can boost memory A study at Tufts University in Boston showed eating half a cup of this fruit regularly could delay age-related deterioration in co-ordination and short-term memory.

7. A pint is as good as red wine A pint of beer or stout is officially as beneficial as red wine for fighting cancer and heart disease, says scientists at Canada's University of Western Ontario.

8. Eat chocolate, live longer Hurray! Harvard University scientists say that eating a couple of chocolate bars a week could extend your life by almost a year.

9. Grapefruit juice can stop medicine working If you're taking medication, avoid washing it down with grapefruit juice as there is evidence that it prevents some drugs being broken down.

10. You should never drink tea or coffee with meals Tannins in tea and coffee prevent absorption of certain nutrients. A cup of tea with a meal will halve the iron you get from it, whereas a glass of orange juice will double it.

11. Cherries can cure gout Cherries contain compounds that significantly reduce the chemicals in the body which cause joint inflammation.

12. Eating curry could help prevent Alzheimer's According to a report in the Journal of Biological Chemistry, a yellow pigment used in curry, curcumin, can stop amyloid plaques in the brain that cause the condition.

13. Sniffing a lemon could help you beat asthma The UK's 5.1 million asthmatics could find lemons ease their symptoms. Studies in rats found that breathing improved after they inhaled limonene, the chemical that gives lemons their smell.

14. Kiwi fruit can improve your eyesight This fuzzy fruit is a surprisingly good source of lutein, an antioxidant that protects your vision.

15. Garlic can cure mouth ulcers and verrucas Here's an old wives' tale that works: halve a clove of garlic, squeeze, and apply a drop of the juice to the offending growth at bedtime.

16. You can have too little salt Too much salt isn't good for us but not getting enough can trigger low blood pressure in those susceptible. Consult your GP before making any major diet changes.

17. Figs can delay brittle bone disease Good news for the three million osteoporosis sufferers in the UK - it is possible to slow its progress by eating calcium-packed figs.

18. Soya can mimic breast cancer drugs A team of Cambridge researchers discovered that a diet high in soya can have a similar effect to anti-cancer drug Tamoxifen.

19. Barbecued-food can cause cancer Eating meat that's chargrilled or burnt could lead to stomach, pancreatic, colon and breast cancer because it creates high levels of carcinogenic compounds.

20. Cinnamon can help diabetics Just half a teaspoon a day of this spice can significantly reduce blood sugar levels in diabetics, says US research.

21. Chillies can help you breath more easily Capsaicin, which occurs in chillies, shrinks the mucous membranes which can ease blocked noses and sinuses.

22. Watermelon is good for the prostate Men will be glad to know that the red flesh contains the antioxidant Lycopene, which helps keep the prostate gland healthy.

23. Coriander can lower your cholesterol levels This aromatic herb can reduce cholesterol levels and prevent heart problems.

24. Nibbling nuts can prevent blood clots Nuts boost nitric oxide, a compound that relaxes blood vessels and eases blood flow.

25. Banish bad breath with natural yoghurt A few spoonfuls of natural yoghurt can neutralise halitosis, according to Japanese researchers.

26. Artificial sweeteners can make you fat Research by US scientists shows that artificial sweeteners such as fructose change the body's metabolism, making it more likely you'll gain weight.

27. A caffeine hit can improve your love life If your libido's flagging, try a quick shot of espresso. Research shows a daily cup of coffee boosts blood circulation to vital areas.

28. Honey combats ulcers Manuka honey from New Zealand my be useful in preventing stomach ulcers, so have some in your morning porridge.

29. Olive oil can be as good for the heart as aspirin There is evidence that the main compound in olive oil, oleocanthal, contains the same properties as painkillers used to treat heart conditions.

30. Boozing can help you stay slim A recent study by US scientists discovered that women who enjoyed the "occasional" tipple were 27 per cent less likely than teetotallers to be obese.

31. Sesame seeds can lower blood pressure Try sprinkling on salad to reduce your blood pressure. They're also an excellent source of protein and calcium, iron and niacin.

32. Eating avocados can cheer you up These green fruits perk you up by boosting your serotonin levels, which can help to beat depression.

33 Fried eggs can cure a hangover A full English breakfast could be the ultimate hangover cure, thanks to the eggs. They're rich in cystine, an amino acid which helps purge toxins via the liver.

34. A daily cuppa could slash your risk of cancer Tea contains lots of flavonoids, disease-fighting substances that lower blood pressure, fight cancer and even prevent wrinkles. One cup a day may halve your risk of liver cancer.

35. Rhubarb can relieve constipation This red fruit, delicious in crumbles, contains a natural laxative.

36 Drinking green tea can prevent prickly heat Green tea is not just an excellent antioxidant - sipping it can help you avoid a painful bout of prickly heat.

37. Pasta may aid sleep Going to bed after eating carbohydrates can induce restful sleep. Complex carbs like whole wheat pasta and bread are most effective.

38. Semi-skimmed milk contains more calcium Half-fat milk is not only lower in calories than full-fat, it also contains more calcium, protein and B vitamins. However it does contain less vitamin A and E.

39 Breakfast can reduce risk of throat cancer According to scientists at Aberdeen University, eating breakfast reduces your risk of developing oesophageal cancer.

40. Eat ice cream for glossy hair A few scoops can do wonders for your crowning glory due to ice cream's high levels of Vitamin B2.

41. Kidney beans help you look younger The US Department of Agriculture ranked these as the third most antioxidant- rich food.

42. Oily fish can ward off arthritis Salmon, mackerel and so on can prevent the onset of arthritis. Two to four portions a week is recommended.

43. Flaxseed oil can help you stay trim Drizzling this oil over salads and soups can trick the body into feeling full and storing less fat.

44 Spinach can make kidney stones worse High-oxalate foods such as spinach encourage the formation of kidney stones, which occur when waste products in the urine crystallise.

45. Crusty bread may cut cancer Crusts have eight times the amount of cancer-fighting antioxidants called pronyl-lysine than the rest of the bread, according to a study in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry.

46 Boiling hot drinks can ruin your smile Drinking very hot fluids can cause your gums to recede, leaving them prone to infection. Allow drinks to cool before drinking.

47. Frozen vegetables are just as healthy as fresh Although generally speaking fresh is best, providing the fruit or vegetables are frozen immediately after picking, they will retain most of their nutrients and vitamins.

48. Drinking fruit juice can rot your teeth High fructose levels in fruit can cause tooth decay. Have them with meals or brush your teeth directly after drinking.

49. Fizzy drinks can lower your immunity The tartrazine found in fizzy drinks causes depletion of the body's zinc levels. Zinc plays a vital role in supporting our immune systems - 15mg a day is the recommended daily amount.

50. Teabags can fight cold sores Placing a cold, used teabag on a cold sore can reduce inflammation and infection.

Ini adalah malam keduaku di Madinah, berarti malam ketiga dari perjalanan suci ini. Kala itu aku tarawih di rooftop Mesjid Nabawi untuk dapetin pengalaman yang beda. Mengambil shaf di depan dinding belakang, menghadap jalan kosong di depannya sehingga udara diatas yang lebih keras dan panas (sekitar 40"-45"C) menerpa muka hingga kering dengan cepatnya.

Disaat aku menutup mata untuk mencoba khusyu di raka'at kedua, disaat yang sama tertangkap olehku imej-imej yang sangat nyata tentang aku dan orang dalam jumlah yang banyak berbaris dalam pakaian ihram. Orang-orang dari berbagai suku dan ras berdiri diantara teriknya siang dan kepulan asap matang turun naik gunung dan berakhir di sebuah lapangan luas. Begitu nyatanya, begitu nyata pula rasa takutnya, sampai-sampai aku tutup mulut hingga menjelang pulang di Jeddah.

Antara takut, percaya tak percaya, senang tapi juga sedih, aku menduga bahwa imej yang aku lihat berhari-hari hingga 2 hari menjelang kepulangan adalah Padang Mashyar. Tempat dimana semua orang dikumpulkan setelah kiamat untuk diadili sesuai azab dan amalan di dunia. Subhannalah. Apa yang harus saya perbuat, pertanda apa yang terbaca, saya akan coba bagi dalam penggambaran yang tidak seberapa ini.

Dulu ada seorang Ksatria yang suka menolong. Kapanpun dia dapat kesempatan untuk membantu orang, dia selalu berhenti. Suatu hari saat dia berkuda melintasi gurun menuju negeri seberang, dia terhenti oleh pemandangan di depannya. Seorang pemuda yang tampak letih merangkak meminta pertolongannya. Kemudian sang Ksatria memberikan kantong minumannya, "Minumlah kisanak, dan jika memang engkau ingin pergi ke arah Utara, ikut lah denganku...!"

Si pemuda menyambut dengan suka cita segala tawaran tersebut. Sampai tak berapa lama kemudian, tanpa dinyana dia mendorong Ksatria dari kudanya dan meninggalkan sendirian di tengah gurun.

Waktu berselang, Sang Ksatria sampai di Kota yang di tuju. Dan dalam suatu kesempatan bertemu dengan si pemuda yang mencelakai dan merebut kudanya. Si pemuda gugup ketakutan termakan rasa bersalah. Sang ksatria menghampiri dan berkata, "Wahai Kisanak, silahkan kau habiskan airku, kau tinggalkan aku, kau curi kudaku, aku memaafkanmu, tapi jangan sampai aku kedapatan gagal menolongmu..."

“A good exercise for the heart is bending down and helping someone to get up.” (Anonymous)

diceritakan ulang dari Jalu.

Malam ini, sebulan lalu. Selepas tarawih di lantai paling atas Mesjid Nabawi, Madinah. Saya berbaring di lantai marmernya menghadap langit malam itu. Udaranya berhembus kencang, hangat dan kering, namun di malam ke2 disana sungguh tidak mengurungkan niat untuk berhenti sejenak mengaguminya.

Waktu itu purnama, kalau dari gurun waktu kita pertama sampai, bulannya tampak begitu besar berangkat dari horizon. Malam ini dia seolah bertengger di salah satu menara Nabawi. Pikiran saya menelusuri jengkal demi jengkal atas alasan apa yang membawa saya kesini, apa yang saya cari disini, apa yang akan saya dapatkan, apa jadinya setelah ini?

Dua bulan lalu saya adalah keringat pertama yang lahir dalam kisruhnya suatu hari. Sebulan sebelumnya saya berada di antara keinginan dan kebutuhan, aksi dan kehendak. Sebulan dan setahun dan terus mundur ke belakang mungkin bukan jadi deretan yang membanggakan. Yah, saya ada disini karena saya harus ada disini, mengingat setiap butiran keringat yang saya keluarkan, menjilat asin atau pahitnya, belajar dari itu, bertamu di rumah-Nya, sehingga suatu saat jika saya harus kembali ke halaman yang sama dari lembar yang sudah saya buang, saya akan mengingatnya dalam teduhnya Raudhah dan megahnya Multhazam. Subhanallah.

Sehari menjelang Ramadhan 1429.

My note about the insanity of the world we live in.

Can't really tell who to trust. Semua berdiri di atas kepentingan dan agenda masing-masing. Atas nama itu, bergerak tanpa mengindahkan moral dan situasi. Disaat orang-orang berkoar akan kepentingan yang lebih besar jadi serasa cuma jalan di tempat. Akhirnya cuma bikin kita menjadi robot-robot yang sama. Sibuk memprogram dirinya dan hanya untuk dirinya. Orang lain ada karena memang seharusnya ada. Sosialisasi dengan masyarakat bukan lagi kebutuhan tapi pengobat kesepian, buat diri sendiri. Orang berkumpul adalah musik pada radio tuner dan kita memegang kendali volume atau salurannya. Tujuan adalah kemuliaan, orang-orang di sekitarnya adalah props, yang bisa di geser, injak, bahkan di hilangkan. Tuhan itu antara ada dan tiada. Pegangan kini lebih ke apa yang bisa saya dapat hari ini? Sedih tapi kenyataan.

“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.”(Oscar Wilde)

Mohon maaf lahir bathin. Selamat menjalankan ibadah Puasa! :D

Entah ada apa dengan Agustus dan kaitannya dengan romantika sang Aquarius?
Kurus, murus-murus, GAK URUS!!!

Here I am sitting on the train visiting the old bruise with the same song on my ipod.
Dan Lalu (float)

Cinta itu gak pernah buta.

Kita aja yang belum jera mencoba.

Untuk akhirnya melek.  

Semua berkumpul di sebuah Stadion tua milik kotanya para dewa itu. Semua peserta Kuliah Kerja Nyata tahun 1998, itu berarti jika Universitas Udayana punya 30 Fakultas dan masing-masing mengirimkan 100 mahasiswanya, maka akan ada 3000 orang yang memadati stadion itu. Setiap orang yang masuk langsung mendapat tiket tribun sesuai warnanya. Sekilas ini seperti gabungan nonton bola dan penataran P4. Saya di tribun 11, di dalamnya ada ratusan mahasiswa berpakaian hitam putih dan dasi hitam, antar tribun dipisahkan oleh pagar kawat. Banyak sekali muka-muka asing, dan tidak seorang pun menarr... wait! Seseorang cewek berparas cantik tampak duduk di depan saya, spontan membuat saya meluluhkan pantat saya di kursi terdekat. Ternyata telat datang kali ini bawa berkah. Tidak lama kemudian susunan nama kelompok keluar, di satu tribun itu akan di tempatkan 10 grup di utara Denpasar. Tiba giliran nama-nama grup 8 disebutkan ada saya, cowok gempal dan gondrong, seorang kutubuku, dan cewek itu! Ya, cewek itu! Hummm... Selanjutnya orang selain dia tidak tergubris lagi. Namanya I Gusti Putu Ayu Chandradewi, panggil dia Chandra.

Kami (karena lantas kaum cowoknya kini berjumlah 8 orang) menjadi pengagum sekaligus nantinya pengambil keuntungan dari kepemilikan 8 lawan jenis yang tiada kunjung henti mendapat kunjungan dari banyak lelaki. Kami lebih beruntung daripada teman yang lain, sementara yang lain tinggal di SD atau Banjar (hirarkis organisasi di Bali yang lebih kecil lagi satuannya daripada kelurahan), tempat yang kami dapati berupa sebuah puri dengan banyak kamar. Maka yang cowok dapat dua kamar, yang cewek tinggal di dalam puri juga dengan dua kamar. Kamar mandi kami harus keluar turun tangga sedikit, persis disamping dapur dan gudang. Ada bale bengong di halaman rumah yang kemudian kami sulap jadi posko mahasiswa KKN. Puri ini di huni oleh beberapa tetua, sisa penghuninya hanya datang di akhir minggu karena kerja di Denpasar dan sekitarnya. Di depan puri ada sebuah pura dan pasar pagi, keberadaan yang di pinggir jalan ini membuatnya paling pertama ditemui jika ada sidak dari Denpasar, tapi ini jadi keuntungan karena kita selalu aman dari sidak, kalaupun iya ada, kita selalu sedia.

Kembali ke Chandra, dengan adanya dia, posisi kami yang strategis jadi tidak begitu berpengaruh, karena semua dosen senang datang ke kami. Begitupun para penggebet yang niat datang dari denpasar mengendarai Cherokee, Jeep, BMW, Merci membawa buah, bunga, donat, kue kaleng, cemilan, bahkan rokok berpak-pak. Sepulang mereka Chandra hanya meletakan di dapur untuk kita para lelaki2 lapar nan rakus. Sialnya, tidak ada satupun dari pria-pria itu yang di liriknya. Heran memang. Kalau ditanya, dia bilang saya suka yang moce (dibaca seperti dorce), artinya badung atau slenge'an. Humm... Setiap Selasa dan Kamis adalah giliran Chandra masak buat posko. Perlu diketahui dia tinggal di sebuah rumah di kawasan pemukiman mewah di Denpasar,  tinggal dengannya adalah ayahnya seorang kurator, ibunya seorang dokter, adik kecil beserta banyak pembantu rumah tangga. Harusnya dia dengan mudah dilayani oleh dayang-dayang itu. Begitupun dalam hal masak memasak. Tapi masakan Chandra adalah yang kami tunggu-tunggu se-posko. Apapun yang dia masak, ikan gabus, teri, tempe, sayur lodeh, dan masakan aneh lainnya tetap terekomendasi untuk dimakan. Masakannya maut, entah darimana dia belajar membuatnya.

Para cowok adalah sekumpulan pembuat onar yang suka kentut sembarangan, minum tuak, main radio panggil, mancing ikan, ngejailin cewek-cewek, pulang ke Denpasar tiap jam 7 malem untuk paginya balik lagi ke Posko. Cuma itu sebagian dari yang terlihat, kami juga membuat tapal batas desa, mengsensus tiap penduduk, membantu imunisasi ternak, mengajar anak SD, dan banyak lagi. Karenanya kita di buatkan pasangan untuk melaksanakan tugas2 tersebut, hasil undian menentukan, saya berpasangan dengan Chandra :D Di suatu kesempatan dia bilang, si orang slenge'an itu mirip aku. Di kesempatan selanjutnya si setia bodoh ini bercerita tentang pacarnya.

Setaun kemudian kami lulus kuliah, wisuda bareng dia, selang beberapa lama, selembar undangan sampai, Chandra menikah.

“The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance” (Anonymous)

Tau dari film dan beberapa buku, katanya orang kalo meninggal bakal di puterin film kisah hidupnya. Kalo iya lagi mikir, apa jadinya entar ya? Bokepkah? Horror, Drama, Satir, Komedi, Romantika, Adventure? Pasti ada cerita yang gua pengen rewind over and over to see where have i make mistakes... Although, it's already be too late ;)

Well, udah banyak yang dilakuin, tapi gua pengen pastiin film yang gua tonton nanti, a damn good one. Starting today. Ayo, Kamu Bisa!!!

“A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know?
It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.”
Woody Allen

What is it with people and their habits?Is it ok to not eat at twelve in the afternoon? Or not going by the same road again? News Flash!!! You can eat at one pm, you can park your car and take the bus randomly for instance, that won't hurt. But what's with that, what so intriguing about breaking any habit? We, human being had a good track of doing things repeatedly, especially when it's good for them, they might inherit them to their next generation and all. The habits are like clothes. They are always stay neat in the drawer of your brain, you take that out everytime you need it. But what happen when it's not there? What will you do? I'll tell you what happen?.. We are lost, we don't know what should we do with our life. We're freezed. Locked. I used to watering the plant, now that someone else doing it, what should i do, should i watering the street or running around naked in my backyard? We are confused. As confuse as my writings. Or that stack of DVD i bought since months never know when i'm gonna watch em.

Or at least almost die...

• Waktu umur 3 tahun, kecemplung di kolam ikan belakang rumah di Bogor. untung langsung di tolong, kalo gak, bergabung lah ama kecebong-kecebong itu.

• SD kelas 3 mungkin ya... Nganter nyokap belanja je pasar, kecebur ke kali barengan ama angkot2nya. Nyokap lansung pegang dan angkat gua dari ketinggian air.

• SMP kelas 3, dikejar orang sekampung mau dipukulin gara2 lagi jalan kaki sama keponakan ngebentak sepeda yang hampir nabrak yang ternyata milik penduduk sekitar. LARIIII!!!!

• SMA Kelas 3, baru lulus... di tabrak ama bus 46 di turunan Slipi, langsung sukses menggelinding ampe bawah, in split second i thought a car would hit me during the spinning.

• Kuliah, dikit lagi lulus, ada kasus pengeroyokan oleh oknum senat kampus... karena salah paham (bushet apa gak tanya2 dulu yaaa? nyawa yeuh..)

• 2002. Bom Bali, selisih 3 jam siy, cuma ada niatan untuk kongkow di skitar legian, nungguin pacar (pada saat itu). Tapi lantas memilih pulang, 11pm. the place went flat to the ground.

• 2004. Bom Kuningan, jam 10 masih lewat dengan damai di daerah situ, kalo aja temen gak mencari jalan tikus dan berleha2 dalam kemacetan, we probably the one ended up vanished on that blast.

• 2007. Hanya selisih 10 menit dari mobil yang ditumpangi Taufik Savalas Alm. bersama kawan2... Kalau aja saya tidak mengisi pulsa (Lia... We owe you our life!), we probably doing the insignificant pursuit, cathed them up and who knows what might happened.

That's my near death experience stories other than the bumpy flight with star air, di kejar bencong, ditikung temen, di bawa arus bawah pantai Kuta, and all the crazy stupid stuff i did. People said... "Good people die young". Can't imagine how many times God take his words. What a sense of humour He got... :D

 

I miss the sugar on a cut cold tomatoes.

I miss the tuna mayo.

I miss the afternoon chat.

I miss the morning calls.

I miss the weekend movie hunting.

I miss the buzzing of cleaning habit.

I miss the sneaking.

I miss the switching cars.

I miss the 'get rid of' tactics.

I miss the sunday driving.

I miss the little fight.

I miss the laugh.

I miss the kisses.

I miss the feeling.

 

I miss...

my chance

to straighten

things up...

 

I messed...

 

I

missed.

when i die
she'll come to you
telling you just how stupid you are
to missed it .

too busy with thousands
of question that actually
lying upon you 

Bogor, June 8th 08 

buat gadis dengan belati di tangan,
dan samurai terhunus.
sebegitukah hasratmu berperang?
kalau begitu kamu yang daritadi saya tunggu.

buat gadis dengan bendera putih di tangan
belati terpental dan samurai menusuk diri
padahal belum lagi kita berperang.
kalau begitu kudiamkan sampai kau siap.


MPR, 01 mei 08

check this out! kata salah seorang pembicara disana, yang gua pikir bisa lah disangkut2in ama kita punya work ethic hehehe...
1. hire people who have never worked in advertising
2. stop doing things the way it's been done before
3. don't begin by writing advertising
4. dig deep! hate something, change something!
5. break some rules
6. let go of control
7. keep doing things that hasn't been done before
8. don't try to please everyone
9. make some mistakes
10. collect things eventhough you don't know why?
11. ideas are everywhere

So, enjoy this bit! 

Ketawa ndiri aja pas ngeganti lirik sempurna, kebayang kalo di ganti subjek-nya hehehe... Nah buat kalian yang suka motret sendiri, senyum-senyum sendiri depan cermin... hehehe... enjoy the lyric... ;p

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimatamu kau begitu indah
kau membuat dirimu akan slalu memujimu

Disetiap langkahmu
Kaukan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kau bayangkan hidupmu tanpa cintamu

"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."  Gore Vidal

Alexander Mueller whose a Swiss physicist once said, "God, or the different forms of religion should not separate people from each other. Religion is the connection of men with God and with other men. All higher religions teach people to see a brother in others, a creature made by the same Creator. Where religions alienate people from one another, people practice religion in a destructive way. Deep down, all religions strive towards the same end. They reveal God to man, and acknowledge the unity of all beings. In the specific areas in which people believe they know about God, they go in different directions. However, real religious people will respect the devotion of others, even when they take a different approach from themselves. If the difference fills man with restlessness or hate, then this is a problem. These problems are not religious ones, but psychological ones."

"The psychological inclinations and tendencies of man do not stop for religion. Striving for security, vanity and ambition, striving for power and superiority, 'slip into the most subtle feelings of religion in a shocking way' (Jahn-Adler). One should not forget that in the mythological epoch of a people or culture, metaphysical experiences are dominated mostly by fear and a search for protection. Therefore, it becomes important to honor the strongest amongst the ghosts and demons, to behave in the correct way toward them, and to make sure of their approval. It is as if people might say, 'Whoever does not honor my God, doubts also the greatness of my God, regardless of whether he has another one or not. If he has another one, so much the worse. In any case, it is a criticism of my God, a doubt about his power and magnitude, and therefore also a threat to my existence. My being is founded on the magnitude of my God, and on his benevolence. One who worships another God destroys my feeling of security.' Next to the supposed danger to one's existence, vanity also played a big role. One identified with his God and the one who had the strongest God was not only proud of Him, but also felt more powerful himself."

(From "You Shall Be A Blessing," by Alexander Mueller, published by the AAINW, 2003)

Couldn't agree more, don't you think?

Kali ini saya duri
Kali nanti saya daging

Di kulitnya kami bertemu,
Kemarin, kini dan besok

Grogol, 14 Februari 08