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| To all Bajingan wannabe... |
| 05.31.04 (3:32 am) [edit] |
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What is the use of running when we are on the wrong. (Bavarian Proverb) "Knapa lo putusin cewek lo?" "Karna gua bajingan... "Trus knapa, kan banyak bajingan yg tetep punya pacar?" "Gua bajingan dari yg paling bajingan... dan dia terlalu baik buat gua" "Jadi karna itu kalian putus?" "Iya, gua ngga tega..." "???" (dan katanya dia bajingan...) |
| 4 Comments |
| Hate Over Fate |
| 05.26.04 (7:15 am) [edit] |
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Once in a Blue Moon, "For a hundred times, will you please, don't ever ask me to read signs! That's silly, OK- we're broke up but.. Just don't give me that reason. We're not living in an era where God sends a message through someone else's dream, or put some signs, told us to read it and take it as a commandment. That was Moses era. That's over. We should be more rational." She said, mumbling in tears. And once in a Blue Moon, my other friend went to Kabah (Holy land for Moslem), She prayed for something, she closed her eyes and suddenly got a picture of her future husband. As she got back to her home country, She broke up with her current boyfriend and decided to wait for the man pictured for her. I believe in fate. I believe God has fitted us with fate waiting somewhere sometime on earth ever since we were born. He puts signs everywhere. All we need is to read the sign carefully.(Taken from the movie Serendipity) Me? I don't know what I believe. Probably just a man adored by a movie titled Serendipity, who's somehow live in Moses era but still not accepting the fact that her girlfriend broke him up for some stupid vision she got from land of la la's. 
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| 2 Comments |
| Money First, Love Will Follow..... |
| 05.22.04 (7:17 am) [edit] |
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NOT!!! Ibu itu terus saja bicara, lama kelamaan dia terlihat seperti komat-kamit, mata saya melihatnya dalam blur dan kuping saya tidak lagi menangkap apa yang sedari tadi dibicarakannya. Pikiran saya menerawang mencari jawaban apa yang sekiranya akan saya katakan jika ibu ini meracau tak karuan. Dan benar, sudah sejak tadi dia mengandalkan calon mantunya yang dibilangnya sukses (baca- kaya ;p), slalu menjemput anak wanitanya yang bungsu dengan mobil, slalu menghadiahinya sesuatu, pulang pergi ke luar negeri, belum lagi usaha tambak ikannya, dan segala tai kucing warisan kekayaan ibu bapaknya yang terus menerus dibicarakan lewat si ibu. Pembicaraan mengenai harta dan pangkat seseorang merupakan jenis pembicaraan yang paling saya benci. Karena kemudian akan ada proses membandingkan, dan ujung-ujungnya adalah seperti yang saya duga, apa yang bisa saya berikan padanya sebagai timbal balik memacari anaknya? Klise. He...he.. mungkin ada benarnya. Kala itu saya hanya mahasiswa semester akhir yang tak kunjung lulus, untuk menyambung hidup, bekerja di sebuah Butik Kreatif dengan penghasilan pas-pasan. Menjemput anak-nya dengan motor Honda tua yang hidup segan mati tak mau. Latar belakang keluarga yang bisa dipastikan tidak akan meninggalkan warisan yang berarti. Ibu mana yang rela melihat detik-detik kehancuran masa depan anaknya.. he... he... he... Mas! Mas! Lha kok malah turu, bagaimana ini diomongi orang tua bukannya ndengerin kok malah meneng eh kok ya trus turu? serunya. Saya terbangun, lalu kita bersama-sama nonton TV, beberapa kali ada iklan lokal yang terbilang bagus. Lalu saya bilang kepadanya, ?Saya memang belum apa-apa, tapi lihat saja, suatu saat saya akan buat iklan yang akan menghiasi layar TV dan lebih bagus dari yang ada sekarang?. Kedua Ibu dan anak itu sudah kehilangan pegangan, sebuah senyum kecut atau lebih tepatnya senyum basa-basi terlempar, dikulum diujung, kecil... tapi sakit. Saya yakin sayup-sayup saat saya tertidur tadi, kedengaran kalau atas saran ibunya dia sepakat untuk meninggalkan saya. The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach--waiting for a gift from the sea. (Anne Morrow Lindbergh) |
| 3 Comments |
| Next Stop, Who Knows? |
| 05.20.04 (7:56 pm) [edit] |
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Yikes! Scary yet hilarious, coz it sounds like you don't know where you going. Try taking MRT from Changi Airport, and you'll notice that in each stop they'll announce you of the next place you're going. Watchout for their weird English accent! B'coz after a few places you'll hear, "Next stop, Kembangkan!" While she meant a place called Kembangan, and that's not just it, after a few miles, she said, "Next stop, who knows?" while she meant a place called Eunos. "Duh, my poor ears!" OK let's see what the city can offer me in my first short trip. Well, the people were nice, but very strict, mostly the girls. Hmm? Maybe I should add a number of types of girls that's not really fond of guys; unlucky, lesbian and Singaporean! ha.. ha.. ha.. Overall, Mall and mall and mall and dazzall! No traffic jam and extremely neat... It's like seeing Jakarta in the next one hundred years! ha..ha.. I'm just kidding! But well, Eunos? Singapore, May 18th 2004 |
| 3 Comments |
| Antara Pinus dan 'Happiness' |
| 05.17.04 (7:23 am) [edit] |
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Waktu kecil dulu, karena alasan yang kurang mengenakan, saya tinggal pindah-pindah. Walaupun masih di kota yang sama dengan tempat kelahiran saya. Ditiap tempat yang ditinggali, saya slalu menemukan kesamaan. Anjing milik kakak yang sama (yang sampai sekarang tetap ngga keingat nama dan jenisnya tapi dulu slalu rutin melakukan pengejaran2 yang ngga penting, dasar ANJING!), tuan rumah yang galak dengan anak-anak kecil, dan terlebih... ada pohon pinusnya. Berdiri berjejer sepanjang halaman hingga ke pintu gerbang, begitu elegan, begitu tenang, begitu ekslusif dimata saya. Biasanya saya sering naik ke daerah berumput di sepanjang jejeran pinus itu, seringkali dengan sebungkus roti, kemudian sambil mengunyahnya berdiri memandang kagum kepada jejeran pinus itu. Lalu berakrobat dan berlari disepanjangnya untuk kemudian pulang ke rumah karena kecapekan. Perbukitan dan Pinus, Ayah yang jarang ada dan Rumah yang pindah-pindah. Ngga banyak yang saya ingat waktu kecil, jadi jika saya naik gunung atau jalan-jalan ke daerah pegunungan (entah di Puncak, Ubud, Kintamani, Batu atau Lembang) setiap kali saya melihat pohon Pinus, saya teringat masa kecil. Salah satu catatan termanis yang tertinggal di memori. We do not remember days, we remember moments. (Casare Pavese) |
| 3 Comments |
| Leukocytes of Love |
| 05.16.04 (8:57 pm) [edit] |
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Blood will tell, but often it tells too much. (Don Marquis) Leukocytes of Love Unchained Unbutton Unzipped Uncontrolled Hole Round Spots Dots White instead of Red Your infidelity. You. And for a particular moment, I ...... was you. |
| 0 Comments |
| Coulda... Woulda... Shoulda... |
| 05.12.04 (7:39 am) [edit] |
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I love you, but... I'm scared of falling down again. I've been hurt before, i dont wanna get hurt again. I put one room in my heart for dissapoinment. I can't love you with all my heart. "The best way to love... is to love like you have never been hurt." (anonymous) |
| 4 Comments |
| THE ONE |
| 05.06.04 (5:08 am) [edit] |
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Cats are mysterious kind of folk - there is more passing in their minds than we are aware of... - Sir Walter Scott - I used to like this one cat, moving back and forth... Leaning her body to mine. Never exactly know what she wants, but I kept her as mine. She's very good. Though very wild and very.... cat So, she'll always be a cat. Moving back and forth... never exactly know what she wants. Then I let her go. Hoping she'll find one she wants. (In memoriam of the song we used to sing "ONE" by level 42) |
| 0 Comments |
| If Only... |
| 05.05.04 (8:52 pm) [edit] |
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Music is the soundtrack of your life. Dick Clark CUT HERE (The Cure) "so we meet again!" and i offer my hand All dry and english slow And you look at me and i understand Yeah it's a look i used to know "three long years... And your favourite man... Is that any way to say hello?" And you hold me... Like you'll never let me go "oh c'mon and have a drink with me Sit down and talk awhile... " "oh i wish i could... And i will! But now i just don't have the time... " And over my shoulder as i walk away I see you give that look goodbye... I still see that look in your eye... So dizzy mr busy - too much rush to talk to billy All the silly frilly things have to first get done In a minute - sometime soon - maybe next time - make it june Until later... Doesn't always come It's so hard to think "it ends sometime And this could be the last I should really hear you sing again And i should really watch you dance" Because it's hard to think "i'll never get another chance to hold you... To hold you... " But chilly mr dilly - too much rush to talk to billy All the tizzy fizzy idiot things must get done In a second - just hang on - all in good time - won't be long Until later... I should've stopped to think - i should've made the time I could've had that drink - i could've talked awhile I would've done it right - i would've moved us on But i didn''t - now it''s all too late it's over... Over... And you're gone... I miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you I miss you i miss you so much But how many times can i walk away And wish "if only... " How many times can i talk this way And wish "if only... " Keep on making the same mistake Keep on aching the same heartbreak I wish "if only... " But "if only... " Is a wish too late... |
| 3 Comments |
| To Choose or To Loose |
| 05.04.04 (1:31 am) [edit] |
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"Some people think that it's holding on that makes one strong, Sometimes it's letting go." (Anonymous) Ironic how life is, you can?t always get what you want. We make a decision while the unchoosen stood there staring and waiting in front of our face as if we made the wrong one. Seducing or being seduced, right or wrong, we never know. They say man is more logic while woman use mostly their emotion when it comes to a decision-making. In my case, I do what most men gotta do, questioning the same question about what?s right? What?s must? What?s gonna be? What?s in it for me ;p ? That's just what I believe. It often works?but when it comes to "feelings"... I fucked up. I often lose. Maybe because love is not a must, a win or lose situation, a right or wrong decision, a calculative mathematical stuff or something that is taken for granted. Maybe it's because it's all bout intuition. The victims (whoever that might be) didn't do anything to deserve it. Well, Bad News for me... life is to choose! |
| 0 Comments |