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STRIP TIPS! (FOR GUYS ONLY)
03.23.04 (9:47 pm)   [edit]
The foolish statement is
the unstated one. (unknown)


Here're some tips taken from Hotmail.

How to Be Romantic
1. Try to at least shout, "Hey you're real pretty!" during your charge across the room to spear your girlfriend, you glad gladiator you.
2. Upgrade from ancient denim cut-offs to hemmed khaki shorts for a truly special occasion.
3. Put special days, like Christmas for example, onto your calendar at least a week early, so you'll be sure to remember a present.
4. Write a poem. Then go beat someone up. Both of these things are equally romantic. Working in harmony, they have an exponential effect.
5. Remember where her eyes are. (They're up above her nose and below her hairline.) Try to look in them every day at least once.


How to Cure Yourself
of the Love that Can't Be
1. Buy yourself as many hookers as it takes to relieve your sexual frustration. Hookers like to help. Don't deny them the opportunity.
2. Tell your forbidden love long stories about your childhood at every opportunity. If possible, include the graphic death of pets. Dead pets are an instant cure for flirting.
3. It's easier to make her stop liking you than it is for you to stop liking her, so go ahead and wear those polyester waffle pants -- a lot.
4. Remind yourself of all the noble couples throughout history who couldn't consummate their love. Tristan and Isolde, Romeo and Juliet, Rocky and Bullwinkle...
5. Set your radio dial to Lite FM for a solid week. Eventually you won't be able to tell your mother you love her without puking on her shoes.

Be Strong
Tips for dealing with crabby, overbearing females
1. Declarations of love are a free, legal and fast way to make a girl cry.
2. Figure out exactly how to give her a shattering orgasm, and do it often. A sexually satisfied woman is a quiet woman.
3. Don't act happy if you're not. Smiling through the pain will only encourage her to set her phaser on kill.
4. Threaten to tell her mother. Crabby, overbearing females breed crabby, overbearing females, and the older ones are meaner.
5. There are plenty of women out there who won't stick you with poisoned daggers just to see what shade of green you'll turn. Find one.


Battling Her Insecurities
1. Flattery is more convincing when repeated and combined with inept physical advances.
2. When you're with a group of friends, remember your girlfriend is not a drink holder. And work some eye contact.
3. Lies can be beautiful, not to mention useful.
4. Never discuss fat! Only discuss ethereal beauty!
5. When all seems lost, remember your trusted friends: candy, flowers and extended oral sex.
0 Comments
 
Bus Way or Motor wae!
03.15.04 (7:45 pm)   [edit]
Life is too short for traffic.
(Dan Bellack)


Dari Panglima Polim, luruuuusss aja, ketemu Sudirman lanjut sampe Bunderan HI belok kanan, lurus dikit, kantor deh. Tau ngga, kalo ternyata ngga se-simple itu, traffic jam di tiap lampu merah dan bottle neck, a sudden stop dari oknum pengemudi bahkan dari yang berdasi sekalipun, belum lagi makian dan umpatan dari kendaraan lain trutama buat pengendara motor ugal2an seperti saya he..he..he.. (merujuk ke quotes, dibaca dengan nada Butthead).

Lepas dari semua itu, naik motor banyak pencerahannya lho! (bangga masih dengan nada butthead). Menyalip kendaraan lain, berinisiatif menggunakan trotoar jalan, itu menandakan hidup yang penuh pilihan, pandai-pandai memilih kesempatan, karena dia datang hanya sekali. Berusaha keras sebisa mungkin untuk ada didepan lampu merah, menghalalkan segala cara untuk memimpin jalanan, menandakan jiwa pemimpin yang tinggi, kompetitif dalam tanda kutip positif. Tingkat akurasi yang tinggi dipadupadankan dengan kecepatan yang tinggi mencerminkan bahwa hidup itu bener2 "reckless", perhitungan dan perencanaan yang tepat akan membawa kita lebih cepat meraih kesuksesan. Kecelakaan, kematian, makian atau umpatan, adalah resiko. Seperti halnya kerugian dalam berbisnis, broken heart pas berkasih2an (;p), kesamber petir pas maen bola atau kesetrum pas nge-band.

Apalagi sekarang 3 in 1, tunggu apalagi, bus way or motor wae!
1 Comments
 
my left doesn't feels right...
03.03.04 (3:55 am)   [edit]
"...then laugh, leaning back in my arms,
for life is not a paragraph, and death i think
is not a pharentesis" (e.e. cummings)

It feels boneless, really, being left by the one whos somehow put a role in your life, your beloving Dad. It's like you're going nowhere for sometime. You used to think he's there, he'll be there. Now, it all suddenly changed. Yesterday as i do what i ussualy do when i stucked, as i try to make sure He's there,
.....
.....
He wasn't.

He's somebody big enough to fit in your memory. So for him, a salute, I didn't know him as much as my other brothers or sisters, but for whatever He taught me to.
Thank you!
May you rest in peace!



In memoriam of my old Dad (29 Feb 2004)
3 Comments